There was quite an event this past weekend: seven million people gave up their Saturday afternoon to march against the idea that a man in Washington wants to crown himself King Donald I—of the United States, Canada, and Greenland.
Surely, that called for some potent, unstinting political satire. A show built for moments like this, Saturday Night Live, passed on the opportunity. So we had to wait until Monday night.
The wait was worth it—especially for Jon Stewart’s blistering monologue on The Daily Show, which was equal parts hilarious and heretical. Stewart read directly from the Declaration of Independence and hosted a “Who Said It?” game featuring, as he put it, “Donald J. Trump and Jesus H. Christ.”
It was The Daily Show at its best: gut-busting comedy that skewered false idols.
Stewart wasn’t alone. Stephen Colbert devoted much of his Late Show monologue to king-zinging, complete with the return of Laura Benanti as Melania in a separate sketch. And Seth Meyers turned his “A Closer Look” into a full “No Kings” edition. (Jimmy Kimmel is on vacation this week, but even the more politically cautious Jimmy Fallon dipped a pinky toe into the royal waters with a few jokes about Saturday’s protests.)
Stewart’s segment was classic Daily Show—grabbing the news by the horns and riding it hard. He showed footage of peaceful protests across major cities and mocked Republican efforts to smear them as “hate rallies,” cutting to clips of people in inflatable costumes singing “This Land Is Your Land.”
“The horror!” Stewart exclaimed. “Public domain folk classics! You monsters!”
He pointed to the remarkable fact that there were“seven million people,” and “zero mass shootings,” and suggested Republicans might apologize for their dire warnings of chaos. Instead, he noted, they pivoted to dismissal: the protesters were “just a bunch of old white people”—which, Stewart quipped, “sounds like the Fox News audience.”
“I don’t think Fox News is mad,” he added. “I think they’re jealous.”
From there, Stewart drew direct parallels between Trump and monarchy—the infirmities, the sycophants, the gold-plated décor—then compared Trump’s actions to the Declaration’s “27 grievances against the King.”
Raising a standing army without consent of the legislature? Cutting off trade? Obstructing justice? Inciting dissent among citizens? Check, check, check, and check.
“If not an actual monarch,” Stewart said, “he’s at least King-adjacent—the imitation crab of kings.”
And to some Republicans, Stewart added, even that’s too lowly: “To them, King is a demotion. He’s a deity—a Jesus-like figure. I get it, there’s a lot of crossover.”
Cue the “Who Said What?” quiz. “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”—that was Jesus. “I moved on her like a bitch”—that was Trump.
Colbert, meanwhile, offered his own royal send-up. Titling the episode “Reign Check,” Colbert celebrated the No Kings marches, including a sharp line about Idaho’s participation: “Even the people in Idaho turned out to tell Trump, ‘No! You da ho!’”
Colbert also highlighted Trump’s grotesque AI video response, warning viewers: “This may upset anyone who doesn’t like watching the President of the United States carpet-pooping his own citizens.”
The audience gasped as the clip rolled. “There it is,” Colbert said. “King Trump, crapping on America. Insane—though, factually accurate.”
Colbert thanked CBS for letting him air the clip, noting that most networks wouldn’t touch it. He ended on a serious note: “Trump is a one-man hate march.”
Seth Meyers also tackled Trump’s reaction, not the video but his threat to invoke the Insurrection Act. Quoting Trump’s boast of “unquestioned power,” Meyers deadpanned, “I like that his response to the No Kings rally is to remind everyone why it was a good idea to have a No Kings rally.”
In his Trump voice: “I’m no King, and I shall prove it with my unquestioned power.”
All told, the weekend’s marches—and Trump’s reactions—gave the late-night shows a plane-load of material Monday night.
